FFA: Topic # 8

For those of you who haven't figured it out...I am part of a blogging group (my new term) that answers a random question posted by the powers that be each Friday. No, we are not Future Farmers of America (although, wow, what an aspiration of mine!)--we are "Friday Free For All." You can click on the link to the main blog and see what the questions are--we then just answer them on our own blogs every Friday. So, enjoy, or skip over or do what you will! Just be prepared for my future Friday ramblings.

The topic this week is: What do you, or would you, hide from your kids?

I have come up with quite the list...

1. Scissors. After two unfortunate hair-cutting episodes where the girls decided that they needed layers. Mind you, Audrey was only three when she found the dullest pair of scissors in our house and started hacking away. Chloe came into the other room and said, "Mommy, Audrey is not cutting her hair." Chloe cut hers a few months later. So no scissors at our house!!

2. Certain toys and/or the batteries that go with them.

• Example A: We made the asinine decision to let Isaac get a Buzz LightYear Astro Blaster gun as a souvenir from Disneyland a few years ago. About three minutes into the seven hour car trip home, we realized just how stupid we were. It makes a high pitched screeching noise and flashes colored lights. Seven hours later, the gun mysteriously disappeared and has only made a few random appearances since.
• Example B: I came downstairs a few weeks ago to see that the girls were having a tea party on the ottoman. How sweet. They had all their tea set stuff set out nicely. Upon further investigation I realized that they had filled all of their tea set stuff with water--to the brim. There was water all over the ottoman, the wood floors, the couch and the girls. Needless to say, the tea set has been banished to the basement. As has the ruined ottoman.
  
• Example C: Santa brought the girls Amazing Amanda dolls for Christmas this year. For those of you who aren't aware of these incredible dolls--they talk to you. Incessantly. Without provocation. They woke us up on the first night we had them at 3:00 am with their eerie, high pitched voices saying, "Good Morning Mommy!" It was like something straight out of a horror movie. So for some reason they just aren't working anymore (no batteries.) Hmmm...sorry girls, I guess they will just be mutes from now on!

3. (Here is where I reveal just how mean I really am!!) Candy. Now, I have always been in favor of healthy eating habits for my kids, but I am not opposed to the occasional treat now and then. But, around certain holidays (Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, other kids' birthdays...) my kids turn into raving lunatics about candy. I hear "I want candy" like six million times a day. So I let them have a few pieces and then I hide the rest. I dole out a piece here and there for a while and then it all magically disappears--to the land of my husband's workplace (let his co-workers get fat!)

4. Their clothes. Not all of them, just the ugly ones that they always want to wear. It's like they have some sort of built-in radar system--if they know I don't like it, they want to wear it every day. Isaac has a t-shirt he made a day camp last summer. It is too small and he painted it himself--he was five. It is really awful but he always wants to wear it. Too bad he can never find it!

5. Pardon the cryptic vernacular you are about to read. My offspring occasionally peruse this blog and I prefer to keep some things secret and hidden! Like... The true identity of certain mythical creatures/characters. Yes, I am a big believer in the fat man in red and the little elfish flying person who collects molars and even the hopping furry rodent that leaves things in baskets. I have gone to great lengths to keep the alter-egos of these characters hidden. Once, when the TF (molar collector) forgot to leave her loot (oops!), she conveniently left a long letter the next night, explaining away her mistake and blaming it on daylight savings time. The hardest part of this on-going charade is keeping the stories straight! "But last year you said ..." Oh yeah, well I think that particular character has changed his MO this year. You have to be quick on your feet around here! But all my kids are still believers so I guess I must be good at hiding things, huh? Either that or just a dang good liar!