This has been an emotional time for me. I know (and don't need any reminders) that I should be grateful that the diagnosis wasn't worse. I am fully aware of the fact that it could be a lot worse (and that it is for many people.) I
am very grateful that it's not as bad as it could be. But I am still very stressed out. I have been walking around in a constant state of anxiety. I feel like I can hardly function. I couldn't even pull dinner together in a timely fashion last night. I have lost my appetite (I hope that symptom lasts.) I am worried about the actual surgery. I am stressed out about what I am going to do with the kids. I am really freaking out about the fact that I am going to be partially bald!! You know, I can try to joke about it, but I really don't know what I am going to do. As if I didn't have enough self-esteem problems to begin with. I started researching wigs this morning--who knew that they were so expensive?! The first one I picked out was over $800!!! Then I found a "wiglet" for only $400. Oh my. I feel like I need to come up with some sort of solution soon...I just can't handle this!! I am not going to be going out in public without hair.
Anyway, luckily I had made plans with a friend yesterday. We took the kids geocaching and then to a park. It was really nice to have a distraction. For a few hours at least I was able to get rid of this constant pressure in my chest. I need to find more distractions!
Here are some of the kids ready to go find the "Covered Bridge" cache. It was a really tricky one, but luckily my friend Amy has good eyes and was able to spot it right as I was about to give up!
Notice anything that doesn't quite belong?
We did another one called "Copperleaf" which was in a neighborhood close to us. I actually found that one!! It was my first one to actually find--it's quite a rush, let me tell you.
Notice anything that doesn't quite belong?
We did another one called "Copperleaf" which was in a neighborhood close to us. I actually found that one!! It was my first one to actually find--it's quite a rush, let me tell you.
3 comments:
Oh my. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I know how paralyzing anxiety can be. You and your family will be in my prayers.
If it were me I'd probably wear hats and then get a short pixie cut when things started to grow back in. You know, one of those daring cuts that you'd never have the guts to do otherwise. :)
I'm with Casey. Use this as an opportunity to get a cute short cut that you normally would be too afraid to do! I love Gwyneth Paltrow's hair in the movie "Sliding Doors". Depending on where the bald spot will be, maybe you can come up with a haircut that will hide it a bit. If not, lots and lots of kicky hats! Or, you can start dressing REALLY outrageously so that no one even notices your hair! :) LOL
Really though, I'm so sorry that you have this to worry about in addition to everything else. Hopefully the initial shock and panic will wear off soon and you'll be able to find some peace about the whole thing. Don't worry about your kids--you know that you have so many people around you here who are MORE than willing to help out in any way we can!
And that bridge geocache was the one I was telling you about that we looked for forever and couldn't find! I could SWEAR there was nothing like that there at that time but if it was, I'm going to feel really dumb. :)
Hi Lindsay! I found your guys' blog on Amy's (YAY! :) ) I was very sad to read about what you are going through. :( I am happy that it is treatable but I don't blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. You have every right to feel emotional about this trial. This would be something very hard to deal with and I am sorry you are having to go through it. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you can find peace in all of this. I'll be thinking of you on April 7th for sure. Hang in there! Oh and I have to say that the new hair do looks beautiful!
It has been fun to read up on your's & Ryan's family. The kids are so cute and you guys are just so happy I love that. We have a blog we have started for our adoption (we are trying to adopt through LDSFS right now) We keep up with it pretty often. The address is www.lifewithrickandliz.blogspot.com. Lots of love and happy thoughts to you guys!
Liz :)
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